


whatever satisfies the soul is truth

by perfect-porcelain (tedddylupin)



Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: Drabble, Fluff, Henry Pov, M/M, but here have it, idk what this is tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-19 18:28:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20661755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tedddylupin/pseuds/perfect-porcelain
Summary: In which Alex is almost missing the bus constantly and Henry makes sure he doesn't miss his stop.





	whatever satisfies the soul is truth

He sees him for the first time running onto the bus in a mad chaotic whirlwind, hair all tangled curls and skin flushed from the effort.

“Thanks for waiting.” The man huffs out to the driver as he makes his way towards an open seat.

He doesn’t say anything when the man sits in front of him. 

He does say something when it’s nearing the end of the line and the man’s head nods forward far too many times.

“Are you getting off?” He asks softly, jostling the man’s shoulder and ducking when an arm flies out towards his face.

“Wha? Oh, is this the last stop?” The man asks in the same loud energy.

“Yes. I hope your stop wasn’t before.” 

“Yeah this is mine. Thanks for waking me man, I appreciate it.” 

He watches the man gather up his belongings and exits the bus. He doesn’t pause to look at the man as he turns towards his house. 

He wonders where the man lives.

He sees the man again the next week. 

“Whew, holy shit I thought I wouldn’t make that one.” The man plops down next to him, the only seat available. He shifts nervously away, pausing in his book. 

He tries not to pay attention when the man pulls out his phone and texts someone named June a kiss emoji.

Taken.

He must be.

He doesn’t say anything when the man’s head slumps back against the seat back. 

He does say something when it’s the last stop again and the man jolts awake.

“Shit!” The man comes back to himself. “Oops, sorry, I guess I’m making this a habit. Thanks man.”

He gives a nod of acknowledgement. 

He follows the man off the exit and watches him cross the street and walk down in the opposite direction until he fades into the darkness. Only then does he move towards his own home.

It becomes a near weekly occurrence.

Either Tuesdays or Thursdays. 

Always running at the last minute.

He finds himself looking forward to those days, always making sure that the seat next to him is open. He ignores the looks from strangers.

“I’m Alex by the way. I figure we’re on first name basis at this point.” The man introduces himself after the first month.

“Henry.” He nods back. 

They don’t speak the rest of the ride because soon Alex is typing away furiously on his phone and he goes back to his book.

He bothers to look up when Alex lets out a loud sigh and slumps down into himself. He pauses mid-sentence and looks at Alex from the side of his eyes. He wonders if he should say something, to ask if the man was alright.

He doesn’t.

He does shake Alex awake as usual.

He does stop to wait to see if Alex crosses the street alright.

“What are you reading?” Alex asks a week later. It’s the second night he gets to ride home with the man. A Thursday night.

He shows Alex the cover.

“Whitman eh? You a poet?” Alex gives him a faint, knowing smile and Henry feels like Alex has looked inside him.

“Maybe in another life.” Henry shrugs.

“Why not this one?”

“Being a poet doesn’t pay the bills.” 

“But it does pay for your soul.” Alex says easily and Henry clenches his jaw and gives Alex a non-committal shrug.

Alex goes to sleep, this time leaning up against him a bit.

He doesn’t move the man off of his arm.

He doesn’t move Alex’s head off of his shoulder halfway through the trip.

He does wake him at their stop.

“See you later Henry!” Alex waves from across the street. It’s the first time they acknowledge each other off the safety of the bus. 

He waves back.

It becomes a common theme, Alex falling asleep on his shoulder, Henry not moving him.

In the flourescent light of the bus, he lets himself be seen. He tells Alex things that no one had ever dared asked of him. He becomes the person that only comes out late at night in the still hours before sleep. 

He can’t help but fall in love.

But Alex is a spark that he knows will eat him up as easily as a page in a book and he can’t help but be terrified at the idea. 

“Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you had made a different choice at a crossroads in your life?” Alex asks one night.

“Every day.” He says back easily.

“What different choice would you make?” 

“I would choose to study literature rather than business.” He says after a moment of contemplation. He has so many options to choose from, so many choices he would have done differently but this feels like the right one to speak into the universe.

“Why didn’t you?” Alex asks, shifting his body sideways.

“Parents. Plus the job offers aren’t rolling in for literature graduates.” He says simply like it was that easy.

“But are you happy?” Alex asks and he realizes no one has ever asked him that question.

“I’m not sure.” He says after a while, taking so long to answer that Alex has lost the fight to sleep.

He lets him sleep. 

He doesn’t tell Alex that he wishes he could speak all his truths into the universe.

The truth that he is enamoured with Alex the biggest one of all.

They form a relationship that doesn’t leave the bus seats, always breaking once they climb down the stairs and onto the pavement.

He wonders what Alex would do if he ever gathered enough courage to ask Alex back to his place for a drink.

He doesn’t get that chance because Alex stops coming.

He keeps looking in earnest on Tuesdays and Thursdays but each time he becomes disappointed.

He begins to stop looking for that curly headed whirlwind.

He supposes it’s a good metaphor. 

One minute a whirlwind, the next, destruction. 

Whitman would be proud.

He dislikes the fact that each time he walks anywhere he finds himself turning to look when he sees a somewhat familiar face only to be disappointed. 

He dislikes the fact that he no longer has someone to show his true self to.

He dislikes the fact that he’s lost the one person that he was sure he could love and all because he was too afraid of letting himself get hurt.

He supposes that life dealt him a good hand but he refused to raise the stakes.

Now he looks out the window instead of reading, watching the lights of someone else’s neighborhood pass him by. 

It’s been two months since Alex stopped taking the bus.

Two months since he had felt alive.

He knows it’s wrong to put all of himself into someone else. Dangerous even. But how could he not when the other person was someone like Alex?

“Hey there stranger.” 

The voice startles him and he wonders if he’s fallen asleep and he’s dreaming.

But no, Alex sits down next to him.

“Alex.” 

“Henry.”

“Where have you been?”

“Out of town. But I’m back now.”

He feels a sense of calm wash over him. He pokes Alex and Alex gives him a funny look.

“I had to make sure you were real.” 

He gets a lopsided grin that is decidedly Alex. 

“Of course I’m real.” 

“I...I missed you.”

Only truths on the bus. 

Alex smiles at him in such a warm way that he realizes he’s been cold this entire time.

“I missed you too.”

A sigh of relief. 

The bus slows down as they near their stop. 

His knuckles turn white where he’s gripping the seat in front of him.

Only truths.

“Do you want to get a drink sometime?” He asks, panic rising in his throat as the bus stops entirely.

Alex brightens.

“Yeah. I’d like that.” 

He gives Alex a tentative smile. 

“Good thing we live so close to each other.” 

Alex laughs and he’s never felt so free.

“Yeah good thing.” 

They rise and walk off the bus and he suddenly feels nervous. 

“Give me your phone.” Alex says and he gives it over without another thought. He watches Alex’s fingers type furiously before handing it back. “There, now we won’t be a missed connection.”

He smiles shyly at Alex. 

“See you around Henry. Text me okay?”

“See you. And I will.” He says and gets one more smile from the man.

He feels lighter as he walks home, because Alex sees him and he refuses to let that get away again.

**Author's Note:**

> When you see a tumblr post with a list of AUs and the one about one part of the pairing always wakes up the other before their stop speaks to you and you just have to write it down. Also Henry's POV because he needs more love in this world. 
> 
> Follow me on tumblr: [tedddylupin](http://www.tedddylupin.tumblr.com)


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